Cherish

Through the eyes of a child, the world is simple. Their days are spent absorbing and learning, and their playtime and imagination are all they need to carry life in sheer delight. They bask in the love and encouragement of their parents and need no more than small reminders that they are important before they are easily satisfied and skip away in laughter to the next adventure. 

As mothers and fathers we encourage, love and laugh over their little ditties and hilarious antics. And yet we don't consider beyond the love of providing for them to see the enormous impact and importance of their esteem for us. For almost immediately after sending them off to school we transition into the adult world, having left the mantle of parenthood upon the front step, our attention becoming focused and centered on the pursuit of definition and fulfillment from the society around us.

And it remains there, always nagging at the edges of our identity, slowly distorting the truth of our place and our worth. And unconsciously we discard the purest source of reflection for who we are, trading fractions of it for the flimsy regard of adults who may not ever count for more than mere acquaintances. And the balance of our attention and priorities could thereby begin to shift if recognition of the cherished gift we already possess is not met.

For there is no greater esteem than that given to us by our children. They are little ones entrusted to us with the wish and the blessings that we as parents will nurture them to become adults within their own right. To lay their measure of love and respect for us as less than, simply because they are naive and young in the now, sorely undermines their potential and value as the adults they will grow to be.

It is our children who remind us that we are perfect just as we are. They hold and exercise the blissful secret to life which views the world with no concern for color, income, position or nationality. They do not measure substance or waist size. They simply revel in the love from their parents, are quick to forgive and just immediately as generous with their delicious cascades of giggles and sparkling eyes. The clasp of little hands held within ours brings them peace and serenity. For we are their parents. We are everything.

And so we are. And have been. From all the way back when our stubby little hands were lost in the firm guidance and grip of our parents. Way back when the loss of our first tooth and the tears from a skinned knee were easily comforted by the kisses and band-aids we now bestow upon ours. We never changed from perfection or worth. We simply aged.

All we need to remind ourselves of our identity is to reconnect with the wisdom of childhood and the reflection of ourselves as we see it within their eyes. And on a higher plane, be equally aware of their reflection shone back from the depths of our adult eyes. Their eyes remind us of who we are as our eyes give them the respect and vision of what they will be.

 

Adult and child, separate yet the same. Cherished.

- This Carman Girl

 

Concepts in Color

Much like racism or any other form of bigotry, eradicating your own personal fissures cannot begin until you have ceased to verbalize or characterize them as pertinent definitions of self.

- This Carman Girl

Diploma

Many congratulate themselves for the prestige and science of knowledge yet fail to see the more important actualization gained from the simple application of living.

- This Carman Girl

Lanterns in the Dark

At the end of the day, the important question to be asked is: Have we given others their own open space to evolve and grow, or are we just as guilty of labeling as we think they are?

All thoughts that go out from us come back. Thoughts are a direct exposure to not just our fears, but what we think of ourselves. And if we're still concerned about being confined to a Box then it is not only a cage of our own making, but one that reflects our own narrow vision of the very people we wish would see us in a different light.

 
And that's the point. We can't make people see. If we're concerned with making people see, then we haven't yet stepped fully into our own power. If we're still caught in wishing, anger and the balance of proof, then we're still courting the image in question.

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Chalice

I'm thinking of my obsession with the night sky and how if I could, I'd drink its elixir and save a cup for the morning sun. I'm thinking of the families missing each other across miles, divides, war zones. It makes me feel like the universe opens up possibility where none have been, and the wind carries away fears and needs only to deliver breathless freedom. Oh, yes. Give me the night sky...

I think of all the ways that I love and all the reasons why I love. I want to take the very essence of the word and protect it from the manner in which it can be abused. I want love to be unfettered, unbound, unbroken. I want love to punctuate desire, flow like liquid sensuality when it meets its reflection in another soul. I want it to swell and crescendo in palpable recognition when spirit meets fire and emotion is exchanged.

I want the words when uttered, to never be used for anything other than what they should. No pretenders. No cowardice in masking language like, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. Do you still love me? Or saying, I love you, only to ease the delivery of disappointment or pain.

And oh, to not perpetuate its abuse by using it as an expression merely to end conversation. I want love to remain untouched. To be valued in not only its form but to retain its meaning. It is an endearment of the most sacred order. It is tender. Love says, Goodbye. Love says, Your soul speaks to Mine. Loves says, Forever.

I want love to make me tremble every time I feel its power and I want to give love so that others feel the same. To make it theirs and to have it be mine. Unmarred, untried, unselfish.

Universal, cherished...Lasting through Time.  

- This Carman Girl

 

Foundations

With every family there are lessons, there is laughter, there is love and there is Legacy. I was thinking of Zachary as he related his day at Kindergarten one day. He said, "Mom, I've never had my card pulled because I always follow the rules. That's because I'm a Blecman, Mom. My friend doesn't know what being a Blecman means, but I do. We're leaders and we always listen and behave."

I cherish this; it makes me smile as much as it fills my heart. Yes, one could say that how I parent is old school - very old school. In fact, I submit to a time, hundreds of years ago, when chivalry and honor meant everything and clans formed together in a solid bond. This is perhaps another reason why I fell in love with Culhain; same ideals, same desires. Same pursuit and interest in seeking love with each other in total partnership rather than thinking we also would need to court the attention of the world as a party to our relationship. No, I am in him as he is in me; it is the two of us, our family, our values and the lessons, attitudes and integrity we want every single one of our children to carry forward in their lives.

It reminds me very much of the basics of happiness: Living gratitude first gives way to selflessness next which truly builds impregnable foundations of Joy. When we remove ego from any and every situation, truth emerges and peace cannot help but be discovered in abundance. Yes, the fruit of the spirit is peace; and of peace, there is Joy ...

So a challenge to anyone who might be feeling a little inadequate, perhaps unrest, mired in confusion or holding onto anything that keeps you locked in patterns you wish to escape:

Ask yourself: What am I thankful for right this very minute and how does it fill and serve me? Do I see that every negative thought, no matter what it is about, comes down to the fear of regard from others?

I maintain that all heartache, stress and struggle comes down to this, but if we can reject the ever-precarious manacles of pride and remember to sit within God's view - well, there you are. Pure. Light shining down from a Heavenly Father who sees in each of us all that he designed for our individual lives, where we are in the lessons and circumstances he has tenderly tailored for our growth, and the gentleness and clarity of the paths He would have us take. Oh, and the world melts away ...

So, Blessings - rich, abundant blessings and so much peace. I'll say it again until my record is broken: Give Love, Be Love; Seek Love to honor Love.

Always, Bec

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Identity

Identity is as easily changed as the thoughts that created them. I long imagined that as an awkward teen, my identity embodied overweight and unworthy. Interesting that upon a look back into the years which I courted such a self-imposed restrictive box was literally less than five; yes, five - from age 15 to age 20. Even more damning to realize that of those five years I then spent the next 20 flirting with every eating disorder out there. Identity is not innate; it is something we can change on a whim or bring to realization with desire for a different life.  

 

Identity is fickle, fleeting and cannot be stable unless it is built on the merits of the inside of your heart. Anything dependent upon physical desirability, mental acumen or career achievement will come crashing down around you at the slightest setback or crack. And although you may shake your head, sit and reflect upon that for just one moment.

How old was I when I determined who I was and what relative little worth I had? I was a teen. And so were many of us. Most of us gained a skewed view of who we were simply from how we were raised and the limitations our parents had with their own self esteem. Some of us may have passed through our formative years without such wayward thoughts and did not bump along into labeling ourselves until a debilitating illness hit, an accident took our dreams or addiction of one form or another wiped out our ability to fight for a better life.

Even still, that does not matter, identity can still be changed. It may require additional support but it is still an active choice you can make. Since it is self-created, it can be re-created. Bettered. It can become so powerful and free that it melds with the inside of your soul and reflects in powerful rays on the outside of your person.

I think of what could be accounted for as wasted years in the drowning circles of self-hate; and yet I stand grateful for the experience knowing that it only strengthened the character inside of me and allowed me to see through the flaws and conditions of others to accurately view the worth of who they are despite their mistaken identity.

Are you happy? Do you self-deprecate? Start today by living what you know is true inside of yourself. The language will be difficult at first to verbalize, especially since those we surround ourselves with often reinforce our current self-reflection. And there will be those who will find it unsettling to allow this language to turn to the positive because their identity is wrapped in appearing better than you are. Let that go. Do not deter what worth you have and what you are meant to become.

Courage. Faith. Freedom. Laughter. No more walls. No more self-inflicted limitations.

Brush past circumstance, vice, position, health or beauty to understand that none of these matter in the choice of existing within clean air. Many of us who know have grappled with depression, seen death, experienced crippling illness in a variety of forms, and realize without a doubt just how precious this life is. And even still, we must wake up every day and actively remember this gift.

Create your free space now and honor the abundance that surrounds you in the form of nourishing relationships, talent, music, conversation, education. Fill your senses with those things that will fulfill you and bring joy for always. Don't wait.

- This Carman Girl