Inheritance

Ultimately, money will never represent security no matter how much one makes. Honesty. Well, therein lies security. Honesty is the well-spring for everything viable, everything good, everything cherished. The honesty in me will see the honesty in you and Love with no limitations. 

- This Carman Girl

Wooden Crates

Wooden crates offer a certain view to their contents, allowing a person to think with reasonable assurance that they know all there is to be had. And should it be a dock worker already knee deep in toil and surrounded with multiple products of similar design, style and markings, the crate could easily be stacked, shelved and itemized with little consequence for its actual contents. 

Such it is with friends, family, partners, neighbors and coworkers. Each of us has the ability to design our own material, our own product, and choose what is visible to others from the view and the crevices between the uneven slats. For some the view gives way to negativity, broken pottery shells or damaged wrappings in constant state of worry, dismay or upheaval. For others, perhaps these shells are brushed aside or hidden in a corner of the crate, while the most delicate, exquisite parchment paper, tenderly and carefully protected by the finest vellum, is displayed with loving optimism and enduring wisdom. And the view that is allowed varies from person to person, relationship to relationship, a continual shifting of contents with the journey and experiences of life.

We all have places that are filled with strength, generosity, hope, eagerness and talent while simultaneously harboring fractured pieces whether visible or not. Some of us are unwilling to allow view of these while others seem bent on setting them in display for fear of misrepresentation or fraudulence, uncertain as to their worth yet even more fearful that others might even agree to its lack.

As the pull of life sends our crate to different corners of the world, years pass, and nature allows for the relative comfort and settlement of the contents, peace and tranquility, acceptance and contentment surface. Certain gratitude and life events transform the need to hide or shift but settle and become. Outward markings fade so that the crate could almost be non-descript and ordinary but for the unique lines of weathered wood and stain patterns. Glorious, aged and sturdy imprints marking the journey of our spirit.

Many are fortunate to have had, held and shared all of their contents with each other, neither itemizing nor comparing but gifting and repairing. Yet there are those to whom we have never been able to allow the most open view and their idea of our world as the years have gone by has been limited to just one perspective. And although a truth perhaps at one time, it remains a blight to our wholeness and leaves shadows of sorrow and yearning.

So how then to repair it? More often it is the inadequacy and fear of the other, stretching out in determined effort to dwarf and hide from self then a statement of our Being. Nevertheless, responsibility still rests in part on our shoulders given the personal choice of the initial and subsequent views. It can be difficult to pull out of former territory and even more daunting when such has been allowed to fester. A relationship that has maintained the same nuances for all time can easily give pull to slide even years backward into the old frame of mind.

Moreover, magnifying current happiness and security can even trigger the relationship farther into sad disconnect. All at once it is threatening, unbalancing and gives greater cause to wall up or hide their person. Yet the span of time, bringing with it wisdom and insight, necessitates that we cannot possibly allow for such to continue, especially with our dearest loved ones and family.

Diligence and conscious thought in opening and being vulnerable to all scrutiny for those we know are worth the sharing, is the only way to change the image. Vulnerability allows for growth, is strengthened when shared and cannot ever be a pretender. Sometimes, it takes the courage of one to offer vulnerability first before the other will feel free to release their own guard . And from there, there is no port of entry nor place of destination comparable to the fullness of that joy.

And as we come together, reunion or visit, across a restaurant table or in the confines of our homes, no one would ever think to make the mistake of shelving our person into categories incongruent with who we are. The markings of our true existence if cultivated and openly offered will supersede those with which we began. Unmistaken form, spirit, talent, emotion, being. Unmistakably unique, brave, loving and real. Unmistakably and thoroughly meant to be an eclectic assortment of crates offering diversity and unencumbered love.

- This Carman Girl

 

Legions

If Athena could reveal her secrets, I wonder if she would say that sometimes she was simply tired for the effort and would much prefer to lay down the mantle of wisdom for just one moment to rest. Somehow I know with rueful pause that her wisdom never sleeps, determination is woven into her design, and that Divine inheritance reminds her that she is never alone in carrying out her burdens. To sleep under the stars of Love and know that she is cherished. Always.

- This Carman Girl

 

Mechanism

It is not that we continue to fail, it is that we continue to fail to see. Opportunity and success happen only when we cease to agree to the exhaustive efforts of struggle. Struggle by itself is an endless condition and cannot move from that mechanism of thought. If greatness is to be achieved, then we must let go the tunnel vision of ego and embrace principles of simplicity.

- This Carman Girl

Mass Transit

Whether you are a man or a woman, the ultimate key to financial success is in securing emotional balance first.

- This Carman Girl

Living Water

I believe very strongly that loving the good parts of someone can love them into the best of themselves. And to do so willingly through their own rocky journey even as it intertwines with ours will also illuminate our personal rocky places and our own measurements of worth. I believe that if we take responsibility for our own misguided and inaccurate self-perceptions and inadequacies, that that is when the healing light of the unconditional love we are so bent upon seeking from others will actually fill our souls to brimming. It is when we realize so profoundly that it isn't ours to demand, receive or hope for; it's ours to Give. Unconditionally.

Compassion is only ever borne from soul-wrenching moments - those of a kind that can occur in the middle of the night in the dark and in the cold, tears streaming down our cheeks as taunts of hopelessness and violent shudders of excruciating emotional pain sear any and all conscious thought. And it is when in that dark, cold and awful place, that emotion has run so high that it ceases to consume us and the ragged gasps of breath lessen to steady inhales and exhales and our physicality is spent, that the remaining, resounding silence can finally speak the truth and light into our aching spirits. That is when the love of the Lord can flood our souls with the humbling, yet visceral and powerful knowledge that He loves us. And that is when weeping begins anew - and not for what it was before - no, it begins anew because we finally get it with ever fiber, cell and heartbeat. We finally understand:

It is to feel so shattered and unworthy and yet of infinite worth all at once.

And that changes every perspective we ever had in a paradigm shift that cannot, will not, shift back just for the core and power of its truth and all that it teaches in one heart-stopping moment of clarity. Oh, it is in the quiet of this moment that God's grace spreads light and warmth and we are given the opportunity to allow healing to begin. That is when we know that we, alone, are responsible to accept, love, nourish and cherish ourselves as we are in our broken state, through it, and out to the other side. That is when we no longer see life through the eyes of pain and dejection, but find our culpability in playing victim. That is when we refuse to live in, seek, speak or engage in dark spaces. That is when we know that happiness is ours and no one person, thing, place, event, timing or action can take it from us.

It is ours simply for the glory of knowing our Heavenly Father's love, finding our infinite worth and then passionately wishing to share it so that others can feel it and never let it go. Happiness is not in having, getting, taking, wishing, wanting. Happiness is too sacred to waste its rays upon the transient whims and cyclical attitudes of human symptoms. Happiness is sustaining and found purely in grace.

We are all God's children - as the scriptures teach us - he is no respecter of persons. His love is all-encompassing and knows no boundaries; it prevails as compassion heals. Love Is not only an action, it is a state of being. Oh, life is too short and too precious to be wasted. Any wasted time has the propensity to develop into more and more of the same - all ending in costly, regretful eroding and lonely years. And while this can steal so much time from many of us, it is never too late to understand it, embrace it and live it all at once since it is a state of feeling that is limitless, timeless and far too large to even contemplate.

If we cut all the people out of our lives that hurt us, we'd very nearly stand alone. Yes, alone. It's a wall that would continue to wound from within and without if we fool ourselves into thinking that isolation is the right thing. There must be a recognition of responsibility for our own wounds because we are the only ones that can add to their festering. And if we haven't come to know our own value in God's eyes than it is often so easy to live life in blame, shoulds, bitterness, negativity, cynicism and hurt. The purpose of life isn't about fairness or what we think how others should act and do; the purpose of life is to invest in ourselves so that we can give, lift and encourage, blessing our lives and those we meet with the positive while letting go of their journey, their timetable and their responses.

Too many people are so lost in self-made prisons that are constructed with iron bars of disappointment, barbs, anger and relentless expectation. How can any of us think to be seen in a different light we if are so sensitive to the actions of others we don't allow them any latitude, even if it's so lenient that the only good will is ours to give? Yes, self-made prisons. Not shutting others out; but shutting ourselves in the decaying rot of the "I should haves".

Are we actually invested in our family's happiness and not what we think they should give us? Are we invested and responsible for our own happiness and don't position it on the broken heal of the illusory self-deceit and need found in crutches? It's a thought process that demands change from seeing life in needing and taking, to being and giving. And when we are responsible for our own broken places is when we finally see that blame and pain are things not done to us, but things we do to ourselves, no matter what. It is in the courage to accept the wholeness of ourselves that all ills melt away as we are then finally able to understand. It is then that the unconditional love we beg so much for flows in us and through us.

Bless your life today. Forgive. And then give.

- Becca

- This Carman Girl

 

Purpose

If all the things you used to identify self were taken from you at this moment, what would keep you from falling? What is your most authentic identity? Live a life sustained in rich measure by family and friends as it is in our relationships that we come to know our irreplaceable value outside of anything else. It is in risking for the vulnerability of interaction that we find commonalities and connection, recognition of our sacred selves and our ageless gifts - gifts that see meaning above title, health and are not rated upon the conditions and merits of material goods. We just simply Are. Precious.

- This Carman Girl

 

Kaleidoscope

Many times our prayers unto God are in supplication, wanting, helping, assuaging, a please-help-me-get-through this, or a bless So-and-So; the list can be endless. It's self-centered and needful much of the time and can keep our vision out-of-focus just for the warring emotions mixing with opinion and desire. Even with a contrite and seeking spirit, we can often spend not nearly enough time basking in thankfulness for all the precious miracles and blessings we have. That alone can cloud direction and misrepresent condition.

I have learned with all of my heart, that when we take the time to sit within silence, allowing our emotions to dissipate in a complete release, that that is when the Spirit receives the invitation to abide within us, to work God's peace and bring truth into our lives. It is then that clarity clears the fog of where we are, who we are, the actuality of our thought processes and enables us to receive more of the things we ask so earnestly for. 

- This Carman Girl

Skylight

I think the most damaging illness is that of consistent choices which disavow growth; these enable games of blame and irresponsibility, drive despondency and only ever spiral us into a deeper and deeper disassociation between personal responsibility and the ramifications of our decisions. We cannot fool ourselves into thinking that the world has "done it" if we fuel thought patterns of anger and failure while nurturing apathy and criticism. Every single moment is one that can be embraced, owned, taken, vitalized and used as a catalyst for change. Today.

- This Carman Girl

Coveted Possession

Human spirit, unrestrained. Essential. Internal wisdom flowing in warmth and light as synergy between body and soul achieves a realm of wholeness inviolable from any crushing cowardice of disappointment.

- This Carman Girl

Body Fortress

It is what it is. I've long thought that that statement signified some kind of fatalistic journey into morose negativity, a mile marker in continuing victim mode. A place where we would wallow in unbearable disappointment and yet with reluctant acceptance, put our heads down and charge forward, blindly shouldering the burden of pain in heroic, dogged determination to not only carry on with grace, but bear it.

And what I've learned in this journey of my heart, is that it's so far and away not the case. The very definition should be stricken from the books and reassessed. In fact, its premise is where all Freedom, Joy and Happiness begin. It is not stifling, but liberating. It is not to bear, but to become. The entire concept basks in truth. And truth is what all sure foundations are built upon. 

 

I think of the nuances of relationships, certain heartache, miscommunication, missed expectations. I think of disappointments, illness, struggle. I think of the many things we grapple with and the many times we are taught to simply bear it, to move on, buck up, be strong. Try.

And being a girl who has always been full-throttle engaged in living stronger, faster, better, I have bought into the theory that by sheer will-power and strength alone, I could carry such an idea of burden and pull through to the other side, like the final leg up over the rock to the summit of a mountain. Battered, thirsty, but somehow all the more euphoric for the climb.  And now I know that there is another trail with a more magnificent view, panoramic and yet more breath-taking still. And this view breathes deep oxygen even for the altitude, and doesn't fall into the sickness or nausea that might surround and distort the experience of an otherwise blissful hike.

For it is true that the higher we climb, the rockier the terrain, the more snared we could become by any look back at abyss, forgotten supplies or the fear of heights. All possibilities that could have us fall into the illness and negativity that would sidetrack our attention and energy from what Is...

Unparalleled views. And Perfect clarity.

 

It is what it is demands the precision and attention to know that the precipice is there, that there may be less than ideal conditions or even willful, snide intention. But it also requires the mental acuity to stay on track, and remember that all of it is of little consequence unless and until we decide to flirt with the perfidious dangers that lurk in such thoughts.

So don't you see? This is what we do when we accept negative emotion upon misfortune or circumstance.

Regardless of the perpetrator or the cause, any forays into toxic air, blame and dis-ease, flag anger and invite deceit instead of Truth. Thus miring us in delay. Done to ourselves. By ourselves. Exclusively, outside of anyone or anything. And until we can move through it, then we are well and truly stuck and awaiting rescue.

And it is only when we have the courage to strip down the ego of the moment, and pare down dismay, disappointment or anger, that we will finally recognize the basis and reality of what Is. Real. Factual foundations of Truth. And no matter how ugly, scarred or broken that Truth is, it is the Beginning. And it is solid. It is where all the necessary information required to direct choice and accountability in a viable direction is found.

And so it Is...

Commanding the final vote. And who, what or how, does not matter in the subsequent recompense.

That is where Freedom begins.

The Freedom to not only build from Truth, but to decide how to approach what led to its inception with Love, sincerity and the awareness that would foster avenues of not needless blame, but supportive purchase. That is where paradigms shift and relationships become secure. And that is when It is what it is...

 

Assumes Power.

 

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

 

 

 

Editorial

Marked opinion is evidence of an ego fully engaged in the sole pursuit of being right, whereas insight seeks truth, shifts in awareness and embraces grace.

- This Carman Girl

Skinned Knees

Jealousy is a soul-destroyer; it cripples the foundations of self and ravages the generosity of loved ones.

- This Carman Girl

Gossamer Intent

Living Joy is not a walk through daisies in a life oblivious to reality. Rather, it is a calculated determination to not be seduced by the artifice of dark emotion so as to perform under the pressures of life with precision and honed accuracy. To then soar immediately in the blissful awareness of all that Is good and to be so filled with freedom that it is impossible not to want to share it with others.

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Prayer Box

My heart is filled and beating this morning, words churning through my head, dancing with emotion and so much thought and passion. Oh, the things each of us endure, want, reap, think, experience! There are a variety of ills my friends and family are encountering at the moment - from my cousin's sweet baby in the NICU to vestiges of physical cancer, dejection, hopelessness, confusion and the exhaustion that is often interlaced when existing in pockets of stasis, even when peace and patience remain.
 

The truth is that we are all in our own promised land - every single one of us; for it is not the end result when sighs of relief punctuate closure that marks the beginning of happiness. It is not then that we should say that our life is finally together. No! Look at where you are now - look at the journey, the people, the experiences, the emotion, the lessons, the laughter. Feel the glory of connection, the spirit, the miracles and the sweet presence of tiny blossoms growing among the weeds. It is in all of this that magnifies on such a glorious level what it is to be alive. To be human. To have needs. To have needs met. To learn. To find compassion. To live in gratitude.

Oh, I do dwell so much upon gratitude but I cannot help it swell within me; I cannot help but feel its efficacy drive my thoughts and feel my soul weep at the graciousness and generosity of a Heavenly Father who knows my heart and mind and who, diligently, without fail, meets the longings, yearnings and necessities I cannot voice.

Prayer is everything to me. I have an open conversation with Him daily...perhaps on my knees at night, or my hands clasped in James' as we take turns offering our couple's prayer. But for the most part, my heart is always talking, thinking, whispering - asking for direction, for His guidance in the things I must do and the things I must say. Daily.

Today, I have begun a Prayer Box. I was thinking of the miracles that come from congregations praying for individuals and their needs. I was thinking of the power of that collective faith and gratitude and realized that much more, how we can add that blessing in our own lives. I was thinking - what if every morning, we were to take a sheet of paper and put to script our own needs and supplication for that day? Dear Heavenly Father, please bless me, I need...

What if at the end of each day we were to come back to our written prayer, to reflect and to write the miracles and blessings that occurred from our slightest requests? Would we be more accountable for the things we ask for? Would our thoughts and actions be congruent with our prayer so that we not only expressed our want and need, but were made aware of our own culpability to its fruition? Oh, I think So.

Would we begin to truly understand how important and of worth we are intimately in our Father's sight? Would we realize that all that we have and all that we are, all that we will have and all that we will become, has a destination larger than we can imagination just for our own wandering into wayward thoughts and slips into fear? Would we take each day, one after another, and make it that much closer to Him, that much more aligned with our desires to see and reap the growth and joy, peace and prosperity we ask for? And would we see the prosperity of our hearts as exponentially more important than the prosperity of physical peace?

I know this as I submit my own prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, bless those in need and comfort today.

Xo,
Becca

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

 

Picture Window

Gratitude is where happiness is counted and peace is its dividend. BREATHE this Life in. No apologies, no regrets. Spend less time worrying about what others think or wondering if you can, should or will succeed. You, yes...YOU! have a place and a plan for your life. Shine your light and be a beacon; as you recognize your own innate worth, you will help others to see their own.

 

Live every moment - make it yours! Worry less, laugh more and don't judge or compare. Share vulnerability; share with the intent to lift and move forward. Sidestep the groups of people only gathered to mire together to point fingers and commiserate. Vulnerability shared is a gift of compassion and not an invitation for pity. Those who choose pity prefer the satisfaction of blame and the dissatisfaction of self-chosen stasis.

There is no fraudulence in choosing joy and every benefit to rising up, fully, confidently - noticing, nourishing and receiving every blessing bestowed by God. His generosity as we see and seek the best of who we are and what we have to offer, is limitless.

- This Carman Girl

 

His Glory

For me, there is no other combination more powerful than a piano accompanied by the violin or cello. Oh, music is heaven-sent; it is the rich swells of emotion that chases away any and all frenetic thoughts, cares and worries, until they are simply gone. Confusion, noise, jumbled and jangled thoughts replaced by peace, healing and an infinite well of contentment - as if the lilting melodies and sweet strains invite us to sit within God's hands to know his comfort and love, presence and gifts. Serenity, really.

- This Carman Girl

 

Bayside

Sidestepping the stubborn lure of "expectation" can heal miscommunication, strengthen relationships, broaden ability, change outlook and even offer direction not readily apparent to business practices. Learning to shift with truth rather than holding onto want is to be invested in viability over the often compromising needs of ego. Yes, to leave expectation to its own quandary and build life solely upon the basis of hope, faith, truth and persistence.  

- This Carman Girl

 

Engine Mounts

Whether we feel betrayal, fear, disappointment or anxiety - all negative emotions stem from the fundamental need to feel safe. Safety is the single most stabilizing source for either physical need or emotional growth. Learning to identify what safety looks like in any given situation will offer insight into what behaviors, ideas or fears we operate under and will bring the ability to release need and find the power in vulnerability. Powertrain.

- This Carman Girl

 

 





*Note: All of the photos on Living Joy were taken by me under my Carman Studios Photography watermark with the exception of this one. This is my Grandfather's car: Charles H. McConnell and his infamous car with the red-leather seats that romanced my Grandmother, Marjorie Wallace, into a proposal. It is immortalized here for always as he also, lives daily within my heart. Grandad, I don't walk a day without you.

To Be A Sackett

I think I know something of what it must feel like to be across the plains where the far blue mountains rise up and time loses its hold, flowers spring up in unrestrained and vibrant growth, matters of age are inconsequential, the mind is free and the colors of the trees and sky are so brilliant that their enchantment sets one to trembling from all of the unrestricted, bountiful breathtaking wonder. 

- This Carman Girl

Grace

Sometimes in the midst of all that is going on in our lives, we can forget that we are either actively choosing to be emotionally able or humbling seeking to be spiritually able. The first offers a space of temporary coping while the latter tenderly invites us to exist in an unlimited place of peace and rest. Thoughts...

- This Carman Girl

Prayers From My Heart

I was thinking of the transformation of all the beautiful people on the Biggest Loser, how distorted faces and bodies morphed back into their own. And yet I think of all the people who are already physically beautiful but have distorted their worth and their lives with layers and layers of pain, misperception and hopelessness. This now, is a call to all of you who can't talk about what keeps the very heart of you buried in isolation and pain. You are not alone. All of us have been there. 

There is another side that is so beautiful that it takes vital oxygen and infuses it into every breath, every cell. Oxygen so light and glorious it takes your heart, your lungs and fills your body with sensations of warmth, peace and Love. But you have to be willing to open yourself to it, to risk losing the facades that keep you locked up, bound and alone. Redraw the picture. Risk Simplicity. Risk Being. Have the bravery to release what feeds superficial worth so that you will reap what truly is Joy. All that you want, all that you wish, is there waiting for you...

Rest. Peace. Serenity.

Risk your idea of what happiness looks like. Perhaps what you've been living has been merely a cover for mistaken identity. Risk for the richness of a kind of Living so infinite and wide that there is nothing more exhilarating or triumphant. Taste it. Let the elixir of what could be, fill you.

This kind of Joy is yours for the taking - All of it. Now. Just have the courage to reach out, unmask, and take hold of the hands that would hold you for a lifetime.

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Mirrors

The secrets to bliss lie in being mindful and content, nourishing thankfulness for all that we have and all that we are right this moment. Not tomorrow, not yesterday - now. No matter the circumstance, condition or perception, remembering that stillness is a gift will offer miracles of healing power and the vision for otherwise untapped direction. There is so much more that cannot be seen unless and until we take the time to step outside any and all frenetic paces of confusion.

- This Carman Girl

Heaven Sent

Never judge your ability for tomorrow's obligations upon any current night's exhaustion. When the morning breaks, its offering is pure and elemental, a new beginning that with prayerful help from our Heavenly Father, will bless us unto the exact requirement, decisions and energy for that day. Truly, there will be little miracles and perfect grace.

- This Carman Girl

Studio Lighting

I love photography. I'm bound by exquisite essays of human existence found in-depth for all to see in the black and white images of time and circumstance. I want to run my hands along the rich texture, nuance and vision that takes layer upon layer of life experience and captures them in compositions of poignant possession and raw abandon.

 
It's behaviors and idealism suspended in fine-edged lines, shadowed suggestion and brilliant light. Varying grains of perspective, beseeching notice, petitioning all humans to broaden their lens to wide-angle amplitude. It's sight beyond narrow vision and an outlook of all-encompassing awareness in the spectrum of reciprocity.

Can you imagine the self-acceptance that would lend dark rooms better filters and finer processing? Can you imagine changes in perception, as what might have been found abstract, becomes universal recognition? Inimitable wonder. Joy. Pleasure. Happiness.

Sigh...

That would be a still-life of the world captured in Resonance.

- This Carman Girl

 

Hide and Seek

The only control we have in this life lies within the substance of our thoughts. It is when the magnitude of this truth registers within the core of our deepest consciousness - beyond ego, right, privilege or expectation - that its efficacy will by way of humility and permission, provide a catalyst of such change that it will yield quite possibly more blessings than we ever could have imagined or wished. New growth springs up with ease, eagerness and renewal, overtaking any and all crumbling vestiges of unproductive thought as the contrast of old and new, common and uncommon, antithesis versus stubborn beliefs, submissively respond to the fruit and fruition of meekness, discernment and compassion, to ultimately bask within unfettered and perfect Joy.

  

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

 

 

Walking In Jimmy Choos

Desire is rarely interested in strong foundations; desire seeks instant gratification and is enamored of the trappings and appearance of becoming rather than truly, deeply arriving. Desire is anchorless. Desire shifts with the next opportunity and rarely stays around to find meaning.

And yet Being - Being holds the keys to all that would fill, shift, open and become. It reaps the benefits of Desire but moves into the delicious oblivion and all-out abandonment of uninhibited Joy.

 

Being is intense, arresting, intoxicating and far and beyond tactical, sensory and fulfilled. Being is all that Desire is not. And Being not only remains but invites all to join the heady experiences of Living this Life. Fully. Unabashedly. With every cell on fire, committed and fully engaged. 

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Site Inspection

Worry will only ever undermine the critical thinking necessary for meticulous examination and success. Worry jumps from one fear to another and cannot focus. Clear worry. Breathe deeply. Become systematic and define what is true and what is needless conjecture. Then strip it down and leave emotion to the sides while you attend to the details that are vital. Assume your power.  

 

- This Carman Girl

 

 

 

Defrag

I was thinking of compression, history, illness and fear - of thought patterns, love, expression and experience. I was thinking of the lulls between each grand trial by fire and the spaces that punctuate the end of one life story and those that mark the beginning of the next. And I mused over how little we think of actually compressing the data.

Many of us have become so accustomed to lugging fragments of history, conspicuous or not, that we hold onto pockets of adversity, don't let go of a lesson that has met its completion, and bit by bit, become unaware of what little fresh oxygen we breathe. We move on from conquering, not understanding that a battlefield remains behind, littered with artifacts, emotion and fossilized pieces of history.

We haven't understood that there is nothing to gain in conquering. Conquering takes and cannot give. Conquering squashes the enemy but doesn't even pretend to want to understand it. Conquering demands feudal allegiance and cares nothing for finding commonalities. Conquering is selfish and only interested in its own flags of achievement.

And most of all, it collects and doesn't know how to begin anew.

So, little by little, half-truths and memories contaminate our awareness because we haven't learned to release. We haven't learned that there is no such thing as struggle. We think that we are heroes for the battles won, but we haven't learned that struggle is of our own making and thinks conquering, its only champion. Struggle doesn't understand the definitions of release and therefore cannot recognize the offerings of unconditional love nor the sweetness of its peace.

For in releasing, we begin anew. In releasing all standards of what we think to be true, we defragment our minds and open up real space - unfettered space- to learn, grow, accept, achieve and be ever open to new avenues of light, people, experiences and Joy.

Impressions on a screen. Living data, finding Truth.

- This Carman Girl