It never ceases to amaze me these days how many people not only live within negativity but seem to court it and look askance at those of us who find joy. They seem to disregard all that is positive and simply collect offenses that reinforce their perception of how the world treats them. Whispering, complaining, mocking...
I've been at the bottom. I know the darkest corners of my soul. I know what it's like to have collapsed in body and spirit utterly and completely - to have died in pieces daily until one last moment clinched all sparks of light. I have known the heartache of having existed, reached, worked and labored for one goal only to find years later it was based upon complete and total deception. I know the enormous cost of pain and despair.
I've been at the bottom. I know the darkest corners of my soul. I know what it's like to have collapsed in body and spirit utterly and completely - to have died in pieces daily until one last moment clinched all sparks of light. I have known the heartache of having existed, reached, worked and labored for one goal only to find years later it was based upon complete and total deception. I know the enormous cost of pain and despair.
Yet as I move my energy into a space that is buoyant and filled with lustful zest, laughter and freedom, I recognize even more those who don't take responsibility for their happiness. So much inside of me mourns for them, aches for their self-inflicted sorrow as well as the disappointing, painful and very real experiences that may have brought them to such a state. I see them choose not to kick off from the bottom of the deep and it tears at my heart in deep waves of empathy. But what I have learned is that the beat of our hearts, the gifts we have to explore, the relationships we learn from, and the lessons along the way are far too precious to waste.
Our lives rarely follow the formula we planned from childhood. The dips and turns between the markers of adolescence, adulthood, career and marriage bring with them unseen complications and sometimes many reasons to feel anger and disillusionment. And yet all the more reason to take a second look and discard every perception, idea and characterization of prosperity and success. I have found reason to bask in the very air I breathe and find a different set of rules to measure my existence.
Fulfillment should be summed up in the smallest possible standard: To live with full integrity and to love with equal measure. If we fail to see the point, then we are not living from the purest source inside. Joy does not know kickbacks; joy comes from within and does not ever seek payment for the sharing. Everything else is a matter of relativity: Illness, death, struggle, vice - all turn on the variables of season and escalate with the inconsistencies of emotion. None of these should be entrusted with the consequence of our happiness.
I now laugh more at myself for all of my follies. There are days that a whirlpool opens up and beckons from the dark when at times my fears and uncertainties seek to threaten my well-being; but I know the difference between what matters, what counts, and absolutely refuse to give of my life essence to be sucked away into a pit of mire. I know the infusion of Joy and the strength of my spirit. I know my value under the heavens as much as I know without a shadow of a doubt that every experience is a gift in every way that counts. Every turn of thought has the opportunity for personal growth, the dissection of honesty and intent, ownership and a powerful rise in the acceptance and privilege it is to take fully the reins of responsibility.
There is a definitive choice every day, every hour, every minute, to cast our eyes around and breathe deeply into our lungs the very essence of our creation, refusing untruth in its entirety. The question is, will we leave this earth broken, having always blamed others, absorbed in groups of pity, gossip and discontent? Or will we leave with spirit, grace and joy? Will we have lived so well that we will leave a legacy? Will we have empowered our own with the knowledge of their infinite possibilities so that they feel the permission and freedom to achieve?
Here's to the protection of our life space - to energy, joy and family. To surrounding ourselves with love, compassion, insight, awareness and gentleness. Here's to living everything we are now - fully. Unapologetically. Passionately. Here's to the prosperity of our hearts and the generosity and healing there is in disallowing stagnant dreams, emotions or outlook. Here's to being Vital. Willfully so.
Our lives rarely follow the formula we planned from childhood. The dips and turns between the markers of adolescence, adulthood, career and marriage bring with them unseen complications and sometimes many reasons to feel anger and disillusionment. And yet all the more reason to take a second look and discard every perception, idea and characterization of prosperity and success. I have found reason to bask in the very air I breathe and find a different set of rules to measure my existence.
Fulfillment should be summed up in the smallest possible standard: To live with full integrity and to love with equal measure. If we fail to see the point, then we are not living from the purest source inside. Joy does not know kickbacks; joy comes from within and does not ever seek payment for the sharing. Everything else is a matter of relativity: Illness, death, struggle, vice - all turn on the variables of season and escalate with the inconsistencies of emotion. None of these should be entrusted with the consequence of our happiness.
I now laugh more at myself for all of my follies. There are days that a whirlpool opens up and beckons from the dark when at times my fears and uncertainties seek to threaten my well-being; but I know the difference between what matters, what counts, and absolutely refuse to give of my life essence to be sucked away into a pit of mire. I know the infusion of Joy and the strength of my spirit. I know my value under the heavens as much as I know without a shadow of a doubt that every experience is a gift in every way that counts. Every turn of thought has the opportunity for personal growth, the dissection of honesty and intent, ownership and a powerful rise in the acceptance and privilege it is to take fully the reins of responsibility.
There is a definitive choice every day, every hour, every minute, to cast our eyes around and breathe deeply into our lungs the very essence of our creation, refusing untruth in its entirety. The question is, will we leave this earth broken, having always blamed others, absorbed in groups of pity, gossip and discontent? Or will we leave with spirit, grace and joy? Will we have lived so well that we will leave a legacy? Will we have empowered our own with the knowledge of their infinite possibilities so that they feel the permission and freedom to achieve?
Here's to the protection of our life space - to energy, joy and family. To surrounding ourselves with love, compassion, insight, awareness and gentleness. Here's to living everything we are now - fully. Unapologetically. Passionately. Here's to the prosperity of our hearts and the generosity and healing there is in disallowing stagnant dreams, emotions or outlook. Here's to being Vital. Willfully so.
- This Carman Girl
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